scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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