Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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