I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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