ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
