well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
