I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
