btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
