Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
