i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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