Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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