he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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