The maid of honor just puked.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
