You can't motorboat a personality
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
