She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
