she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
