when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
