it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
