didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
