...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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