I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
