Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
