That's when you crack a 10am beer
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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