This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm like, not good at living.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
