So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Alive.
So much puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
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