hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
They are going to name an STD after you.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
