I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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