I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize