Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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