all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
