I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
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