Umm I'm too high to move.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize