apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
