Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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