she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
