South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
