FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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