I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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