i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
its not stalking. its research.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
