Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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