So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize
