I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I think I sprained my soul last night
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
