Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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