don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
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He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
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People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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