you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
