this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Randomize
