Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
