I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
