I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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