I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
