well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I FOUND THE LEGS
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
