the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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