Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
