Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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