I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
