if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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