She said her name was "party"
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
