You're a womanizer and a bitch.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
