I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize