I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
