you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
