the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Randomize
