we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
