she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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